The Reminiscing of a Man and a Bunny
by Crack and Coke
Summary: Everybody has their phobias. Even the great and mighty Sasuke.
1. Chapter 1

The bunny complex

It was the end.

Finally Naruto and Sakura had caught Sasuke, killed Orochimaru, and for the time being they managed to cure Sasuke of his killer intents by promising to beat Itachi in a pulp, when they found him.

Something that they never really planned on doing.

"Ahh well, enough for one day" Naruto supposed. World domination and the like would have to be put off to some other time. And, now that Sasuke was back in the palm of his and Sakuras loving and tender hands...

They were gonna make him pay.

One of the very little known facts about Sasuke, and there were many, him being the strong silent brooding type that never really uttered a single word, was that he had one fear and only one true fear. A fear so illogical that if his enemies ever found out they would naturally think it's a lie. For how could the non-pulsed, calm and cool Sasuke could possibly go berserk over a fluffy, occasionally white animal, with overlarge front teeth and cute wiggling nose.

Sadly it was true.

Itachi had inevitably scarred him in a way that killing the entire clan could not possibly compare. Naruto and co. had found out about this Bunny-rabbit complex after Sasukes fight with Haku.

After the standard what-not about a bright light and seeing his whole life flash before his eyes and then meeting his whole family again, Sasuke calmed down and started raving about bunnies of all things. So after he had come back to his old self, the rest of team 7 (Kakashi included, which was particularly painful) grilled him till he spilled the story. By grill they of course meant ask him politely if he would mind sharing his troubles and when he remained stonily silent they, out of consideration for his delicate feelings, decided not to force him to tell them anything he didn't want to.

That didn't mean they wouldn't force him to want to tell them.

"So, are you ready to tell us about this bunny thing or not?" Naruto yelled up at his captive swinging from a single rope on a tree, suspended above a pitiful of rabbits, covered in carrot shavings.

After receiving the usual silence, along with a wiggle of disgust (Which he silently commended Sasuke for, realizing how hard it was to convey any sort of emotion through a wiggle) he sighed and picked a kunai out of his belt.

"Yes! I'll tell you anything!" He had endured all sorts of tortures up to now, seeing your whole clan die before your eyes isn't gonna make a wimp out of you, but at the moment his mind contained only one and a half thoughts. "WHAT'D I EVER DO TO THEM TO DESERVE THIS!?" was the half thought stuck somewhere in the back of his mind sort of bouncing around the "GET ME OUT OF HERE" full thought.

There was also a bit of " I'll make u pay for this one day" but it was really too minor to mention at the present moment.

Safely down on the floor and an irrationally safe distance away from the bunnies, Sasuke began his long / disappointingly short tale.

"A long, long time ago, that bastard Itachi…

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

The Reminiscing of a Man and a Bunny 

Somewhere far away, standing over a pile of dead bodies, Itachi sneezed.His summon laughed. Itachi briefly regretted calling out the adorable man eating terror.

"Three thousands five hundreds and seventy nine."

Itachi glanced at his summon nonchalantly, and after a long minute of staring, "Pardon?"

"Three thousands five hundreds and seventy nine, you owe me."

Another minute of the staring contest, "…Money?"

"No, you idiot, don't be deliberately obtuse."

Itachi wondered idly if he should take offense.

His summon rolled his ruby red eyes in exasperation, "People. Lives. The tribute. You owe me three thousands five hundreds and nine lives. You promised me."

Itachi went back to his reading, "I thought I paid you back."

"When? In your dreams?"

The sarcasm rolled right off Itachi. "Last week, when I was in the Stone Village, I let you loose in that daycare."

A decidedly dreamy look passed over the rabbit's eyes as it slowly licked its lips. Itachi went back to his book.

The rabbit pulled itself together, "That didn't count."

Itachi flipped a page, "Why not?"

"That was for a mission, I was helping you, you should owe me more."

"You enjoyed it."

"Fine, three thousands five hundreds and sixty."

Itachi spared his summon a startled glance, "Only nineteen? I thought there were more."

"The babies were tiny, five of them count as one."


End file.
